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A friend just sent me this at work.

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean

cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life - until the boat sank.

He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other

people, no supplies...Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. After about

four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous

woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her,

"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed over from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed

here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up

with you."

"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw

material found on the island. I whittled the oars from gum tree branches; I wove

the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a

Eucalyptus tree."

"But-but, that's impossible," stutters Ed. "You had no tools or hardware."

"How did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the South side of the

island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I

found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into

forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to

make the hardware."

Ed is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.

As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a

stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he

could only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she

says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home Sit down please;

would you like to have a drink?"

"No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more

Coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I built a still. How

about a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down

on her hand-woven couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories,

the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.

Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in

the cabinet in the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in

the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a

hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel

mechanism.

"WOW! This woman is amazing," he muses, "what next?" When he returns,

she greets him wearing 'nothing but vines' strategically positioned,

and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next

To her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,

"We've been out here for a really long time. I know you've been lonely.

There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something

you've been longing for all these months. You know..." She stares into

his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing:

"You mean---", he swallows excitedly,

"We can watch USF football from here ;D"

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???

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That's just wrong!  I mean a woman that does all that AND wants to watch USF football!

He's the luckiest guy ever.  I'm not the jealous type, but THAT makes me jealous.

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if she is that amazing, why didn't she just build a sailboat and the get the hell out of there-- the joke is full of holes logically.

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if she is that amazing, why didn't she just build a sailboat and the get the hell out of there

And she is too short and light to watch USF football. ;)

Kizarvexis

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