Bulls 1 Posted December 20, 2005 Group: Member Topic Count: 63 Content Count: 551 Reputation: 26 Days Won: 1 Joined: 10/31/2002 Share Posted December 20, 2005 A friend just sent me this at work. Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbeancruise and proceeds to have the time of his life - until the boat sank.He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no otherpeople, no supplies...Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. After aboutfour months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeouswoman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her,"Where did you come from? How did you get here?""I rowed over from the other side of the island," she says. "I landedhere when my cruise ship sank.""Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash upwith you.""Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of rawmaterial found on the island. I whittled the oars from gum tree branches; I wovethe bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from aEucalyptus tree.""But-but, that's impossible," stutters Ed. "You had no tools or hardware.""How did you manage?""Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the South side of theisland, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. Ifound if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted intoforgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools tomake the hardware."Ed is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says.After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is astone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, hecould only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, shesays casually, "It's not much, but I call it home Sit down please;would you like to have a drink?""No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any moreCoconut juice.""It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I built a still. Howabout a Pina Colada?"Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit downon her hand-woven couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories,the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs inthe cabinet in the bathroom."No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, inthe cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to ahollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivelmechanism."WOW! This woman is amazing," he muses, "what next?" When he returns,she greets him wearing 'nothing but vines' strategically positioned,and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down nextTo her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,"We've been out here for a really long time. I know you've been lonely.There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, somethingyou've been longing for all these months. You know..." She stares intohis eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing:"You mean---", he swallows excitedly,"We can watch USF football from here ;D" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flsportsfan83 Posted December 21, 2005 Group: TBP Subscriber III Topic Count: 1,750 Content Count: 17,508 Reputation: 1,262 Days Won: 13 Joined: 08/16/2004 Share Posted December 21, 2005 ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull2saintleo Posted December 21, 2005 Group: Member Topic Count: 131 Content Count: 3,097 Reputation: 163 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/17/2004 Share Posted December 21, 2005 hahahahaha, thats funny, good one ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USFPDiddy Posted December 21, 2005 Group: Member Topic Count: 17 Content Count: 1,334 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/15/2003 Share Posted December 21, 2005 That's just wrong! I mean a woman that does all that AND wants to watch USF football!He's the luckiest guy ever. I'm not the jealous type, but THAT makes me jealous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeG Posted December 21, 2005 Group: Moderator Topic Count: 1,984 Content Count: 19,737 Reputation: 3,869 Days Won: 175 Joined: 07/17/2003 Share Posted December 21, 2005 if she is that amazing, why didn't she just build a sailboat and the get the hell out of there-- the joke is full of holes logically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kizarvexis Posted December 21, 2005 Group: Member Topic Count: 164 Content Count: 1,386 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/25/2001 Share Posted December 21, 2005 if she is that amazing, why didn't she just build a sailboat and the get the hell out of there And she is too short and light to watch USF football. Kizarvexis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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