Letter from Judy Genshaft on field storming

[___ Eats It]

From: Genshaft, President Judy [mailto:JGensha@ADMIN.USF.EDU]

Sent: Monday, October 10, 2005 5:21 PM

To: USF Faculty and Staff (Exchange)

Subject: Updated Security Procedures at USF Football Games

Dear USF Community:

As USF prepares for Homecoming and its next Big East home game against West Virginia, I wanted to take a moment to provide an update about some of the steps we have taken since the embarassing incident that's now known as our last home game against Louisville.

As many of you witnessed firsthand immediately  following the Louisville game, there were several unfortunate incidents involving drunk retards who went onto the field and security officials who inflicted a grade-a ass whooping trying to keep them from vomiting on the field.

We recognize we have the obligation to protect the safety of our students.  However, public intoxication (as well as not knowing when to cheer... geez, I'm a girl and even *I* know this!) is an embarassment to our instiution and reflects poorly on us as a school and an athletic program.  Thus, I am implementing the following actions immediately.

Effective immediately, guests of Raymond James Stadium who venture on the field from the student section will be shot on sight.  I personally have outfitted each security guard with high-powered AK-47 rifles, and instructions have been given to shoot to kill, not to wound.  

Furthermore, all disgusting profanity from the student section must immediately cease.  Nothing screams "class" on a national television broadcast than a group of loudmouthed intoxicated morons making ****** jokes at the top of their lungs.  Security personnel have been advised to fire tranquilizer darts into the crowd as necessary, and offending parties will be dragged from the stands, stuffed inside tackling dummies, and used during Monday morning practices following a Bulls loss.

Lastly, it is with great regret that I must institute a "no spandex" policy in the student section.  After seeing the prolonged vomiting that occurred in the south end zone after a group of UCF sorority "hotties" stood up clad in nothing but black and gold spandex, the Glazers have personally sought me out and requested we implement this policy ASAP.  It is noted, however, that Malcolm requested pictures of the UCF girls "for research purposes"... whatever that means.

In the past, I know we have stormed the field freely after wins against Louisville and Bowling Green, as well as Cincinatti (boy, that looks pretty stupid NOW doesn't it?).  In retrospect, it was a pretty stupid move to ever allow a drunk fratboy on the field.  Now, I am forcing Coach Leavitt to bring his entire tired, worn-out football team over to the student section to shake hands with a bunch of drunks because you're not responsible enough to act like goddamned adults and stay in your freaking seats.  Coach isn't happy about this, and I have advised him that he can feel free to headbutt whomever he likes after each game in protest.  This means you.

It's bad enough that we let you intoxicated clowns in free, but your ******** and whining has gone too far.  By the time I'm done with you, the Kent State riots will look like a goddamned summer picnic.  Do NOT make me go there.  Remember, stay off the field or I'll ventilate your ass like Snoop in a shoot-out, beeeyatch!

Sincerely,

Judy "Regulator" Genshaft

President

[Velcro]

Man... Judy needs to lay off the caffeine

[amie_abull]

I personally have outfitted each security guard with high-powered AK-47 rifles, and instructions have been given to shoot to kill, not to wound.  

my (grad student) tuition dollars hard at work    ;D  ;D

[Guest]

I saw the response, and certainly buy it as well...but I think it went to the wrong audience.  Not that many students and alum on the faculty/staff distribution list.  Did we just get chastised for something we didn't do?  

I'm sure it'll make it to other outlets though.

It was in the Oracle -- or at least it was in their email-version.  I saw it earlier today.

[79 Bull]

So are the players allowed to climb the wall and go into the student section to celebrate with them?

[Velcro]

I don't see why not... they are students too, and the student section is open to all students.  I don't think they will go into the stands, but there shouldn't be anyone stopping them.

[hightechbull]

I personally have outfitted each security guard with high-powered AK-47 rifles, and instructions have been given to shoot to kill, not to wound.

Communist!  As an American, you should at least use M-16's or M-4's.        ;D  

[Velcro]

Communist!  As an American, you should at least use M-16's or M-4's.        ;D  

or one of these

who cares about innocent bystanders

[hightechbull]

I saw the response, and certainly buy it as well...but I think it went to the wrong audience.  Not that many students and alum on the faculty/staff distribution list.  Did we just get chastised for something we didn't do?  

I'm sure it'll make it to other outlets though.

Well, -- cough --, the Oracle did print it -- cough ---

http://www.usforacle.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2005/10/11/434babfc4514c

[USFDan]

I like this new tradition.  Many other teams do this as well.  It would be great if the team could sing the fight song or something to the students after every game and not just wins.