2006 Darwin awards

[BULLO12]

Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when

the 2006 Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

And this year's glorious Winner is:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim

during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James

Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the

barrel and tried the trigger again.

This time it worked.

And now, the Honorable Mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting

machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company,

suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for

himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's

claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car

during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman

had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus

driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be

transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.  Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered

the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the

patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The

deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head

wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the

injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how

close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the

counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,

the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which

the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and

fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he

got from the drawer: $15.

If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime

committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided

that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab

some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over

his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the

would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store

window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man

grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the

woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.

Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in

the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of

the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he

replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse

from."

9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man walked

into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun,

and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he

couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man

ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for

breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

******THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked

on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.  Police

arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor

home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man

admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into

the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle

declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had

in a very long time.

[crambone]

The snow-shovelling one probably happens more than we'd care to think...

[SRQ]

Thanks!  I haven't had such a good laugh in a while.

[Triple B]

My favorite ....

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.  Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

[Who'sYourData?]

My favorite ....

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.  Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

That was hilarious.  The bus driver used some great creativity there.  ;D