That's when the fight started

[BULLO12]

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  I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

  It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

  "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

  So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

  And that's when the fight started....

 

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  Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,

  grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

  I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out

  into a torrential downpour.

  The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage,

  turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

  I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back

  into bed.

  I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different

  anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

  My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid

  husband is out fishing in that?'

  And then the fight started ..

 

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  A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

  Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from

  outside.

  The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the

  man 'Holy ****. That must be my husband!'

  So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the

  window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and

  to his car as fast as he could go.

  A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and

  screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

  The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

  And then the fight started.....

 

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  I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

  Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

  I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the

  cold cream.

  And then the fight started....

 

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  A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

  She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I

  feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

  I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

  The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's **** near perfect.'

  And then the fight started.....

 

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  I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took

  my order first.

  "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

  He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

  Nah, she can order for herself."

  And then the fight started...

 

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  My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,

  and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone

  at a nearby table.

  My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

  'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand

  she took

  to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she

  hasn't been sober since.'

  'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on

  celebrating that long?'

  And then the fight started...

 

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  When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her

  someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

  And then the fight started...

 

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  My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming

  anniversary.

  She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in

  about 3 seconds.'

  I bought her a scale.

  And then the fight started...

 

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  My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

  She asked, 'What's on TV?'

  I said, 'Dust.'

  And then the fight started...

[TyBull]

funny.....