Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? (safe)

[TyBull]

Here are several possible answers to that ever-pressing question.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS SORRY LIBERAL BEHIND OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA !

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.

This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.

The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

**** CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken

crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

What is your definition of crossing?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side.

Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases  like the other side.

That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. 

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?