Golf

[BULLO12]

Ever wonder why golf is growing in popularity and why people who don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? These truisms may shed light:

Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who don't need referees.

Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.

Golfers don't beat up on each other during the game.

In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a season, like the best baseball hitters (.300 batting average) do.

Professional golfers are compensated in direct proportion to how well they play.

Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player's deal.

Professional golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses on which they play.

You can watch the best golfers in the world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all day, every day for $25 or $30. The cost for a seat in the nosebleed section at the Super Bowl will cost around $300 or more.

When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back them up.

The PGA Tour raises more money for charity in one year than the National Football League does in two.

Golf doesn't change its rules to attract fans.

Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each week.

Golf doesn't have free agency.

You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during a tournament.

Tiger Woods can hit a golf ball three times as far as Barry Bonds can hit a baseball.

[Grateful Dad]

10 Minutes Late

So, there are three golfers, (Bob, Max and Ted) who are looking for a fourth.

Bob mentions that his friend George is a pretty good golfer, so they decide to invite him for the following Saturday.

"Sure, I'd love to play," says George, "but I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me."

So Saturday rolls around. Bob, Max, and Ted arrive promptly at 9:00 and find George already waiting for them. He plays right-handed and beats them all.

Quite pleased with their new fourth, they ask him if he'd like to play again the following Saturday.

"Yeah, sounds great," says George. "But I maybe about ten minutes late, so wait for me."

The following Saturday, again, all four golfers show up on time, but this time George plays left-handed and beats them all. As they're getting ready to leave, George says, "See you next Saturday, but I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me."

Every week, George is right on time and plays great with whichever hand he decides to use. And every week, he departs with the same message.

After a couple months, Ted is pretty tired of this routine, so he says, "Wait a minute, George. Every week you say you may be about ten minutes late, but you're right on time. You beat us either left-handed or right-handed. What's the story?"

"Well," George says, "I'm kind of superstitious. When I get up in the morning, I look at my wife. If she's sleeping on her left side, I play left-handed, and if she's sleeping on her right side, I play right-handed."

"So what do you do if she's sleeping on her back?" Bob asks.

"Well... That's when I'm about ten minutes late."