Men's seceret Language (SFW)

[TyBull]

1.  "I'M GOING FISHING" :

    Translation: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in the boat with a stick in my hand, while th fish swim by in complete safety."

2.  "IT'S A GUY THING"

    Translation: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

3.  "CAN I HELP WITH THE DINNER?"

    Translation: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

4.  "UH HUH", "SURE HONEY" or alternately "YES, DEAR"

    Translation: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

5.  "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TOEXPLAIN."

    Translation: "I have no idea how it works."

6.  "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."

    Translation: "I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."

7.  "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."

    Translation: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

8.  "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."

    Translation: "Are you still talking?"

9.  "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

    Translation: "I remember the theme song to 'The A Team', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

10. "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."

    Translation: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

11. "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."

    Translation: "And I sure hope I think if some pretty soon."

12. "OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."

    Translation: "I have actually severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I will admit that I'm hurt."

13. "I CAN'T FIND IT."

    Translation: "It didn't fall into my out stretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

14. "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

    Translation: "What did you catch me at?"

15. "I HEARD YOU."

    Translation: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

16. "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."

    Translation: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

17. "YOU LOOK TERRIFFIC."

    Translation: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

18.  "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE I WE ARE."

    Translation: "No one will ever see us alive again."