2010 Coaching Carousel

[Danm1983]

Step right uppppppp!

Came up with this earlier. Help me fill in the missing stuff. Do note I was going for humor here, which includes having to take a crack at Leavitt if I took one at the others.

In no particular order:

1. Western Kentucky HC David Ellison fired for having an 0-12 team. Hire new guy (think he was at LSU before).

2. Memphis HC West fired for having ****** team. Forget who they hired.

3. UNLV HC Mike Sanford fired for having ****** team, gets OC job at Louisville. No idea who UNLV hired.

4. Florida DC Charlie Strong gets job at Louisville for being a badass DC.

5. Florida HC Urban Meyer has face-to-face with God, gonna take a few months off. OC Steve Addazio in charge. All is well.

5. Notre Dame HC fired because standards at that school of yesteryear are too high. Gets job at Kansas City Chiefs because his former New England GM is now in KC. Gets to develop Matt Cassel again.

6. Cincinnati HC Brian Kelly bolts for Notre Dame. Cha-ching!

7. Cincinnati hires HC Butch Jones from Central Michigan, same place Brian Kelly came from. No idea who CMU has hired.

8. Kansas HC Jabba da Hut gets fired for being an *******; hires Jared from Subway as eating coach.

9. Buffalo HC Turner Gil heads to Kansas because he's not an *******.

10. Cincinnati "OC" (loosely used - BK called all the plays) Jeff Quinn bolts for Buffalo, and calls up a great game plan for UC to get stomped in the Sugar Bowl by UF in the process.

11. Jim "Hip Hip Hooray" Zorn gets fired from the Washington Redskins for epic failure. Proverbial master coach Mike Shanahan comes out of retirement to one-up Joe Gibbs' efforts in the 90s.

12. Texas Tech HC Mike Leach walks the plank for locking up prissy EPSN analyst's son in a shed because it was too bright outside...since you know, the sun is up during the day, like it's supposed to be. (Note: Aforementioned ESPN analyst played for SMU back in the day and is one of the players paid to play, subsequently causing the school to miss 25 years of bowls and suffer the "death penalty" of sports.)

13. Texas Tech hires Tommy Tuberville, because having TT coach TT, is just tits. Mack Brown and Bob Stoops **** their pants at the notion of having to face a real defense before bowl season.

14. Virginia HC Al Groh gets the boot at Virginia.

15. Virginia hires HC Mike London from the FCS Richmond Spiders.

16. HC Jim Leavitt gets ousted from his throne at USF after mistaking a walk-on committing penalties for his wife not making him a sandwich and slapping him around.

17. Bobby Bowden "retires" after 34 years. Everyone cares. Even Gator fans.

17a. Jimbo Fisher takes over. FSU fans try to care.

18. San Jose State HC retires after a great career. No one cares outside of San Jose.

19. Seattle Seahawks fire Jim Mora, Jr for sucking. PLAYOFFS!!??! PLAYOFFS!?!? nope, you never got there, and your dad hardly did either.

20. Pete Carroll runs out of money to buy gifts and SUVS for all these poor college kids at USC, and, afraid next year might be worse than 9-4 (Oh, the horror!), heads north to set up shop in Seattle for another shot at the NFL.

21. Tennessee HC Lane Kiffin Calipari'pwnds the Rocky Top faithful, running away with daddy to sunny SoCal and USC, to recruit the fertile grounds of Compton in search of better "recruits".

22. Marshall fires their HC for not meeting their expectations of being more than mediocre.

23. Marshall hires OC Doc Holliday away from West Virginia.

-Boise State and TCU retain their coaches in smart moves.

-Jon Gruden, Bill Cowher, Skip Holtz, and Kevin Sumlin all disconnect their cable in efforts to not hear their names tossed around for every possible coaching job opening known to man.

-Phil Fulmer ROFLS w/o breaking a hip at the hilarity of Lane Kiffin's impersonation of Nick Saban.

[Guest hm101]

nice.

[Bulls On Parade]

And somebody was saying USF was going to become stepping stone U LOL

Any university is stepping stone U when your talking about millions of dollars

[Stier]

-Phil Fulmer ROFLS w/o breaking a hip at the hilarity of Lane Kiffin's impersonation of Nick Saban.

:ROFLMAO