And then the Fight Started

[TyBull]

My wife sat down on  the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She  asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for  our upcoming anniversary.

She  said, 'I want something  shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight  started...

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded  that I take her someplace  expensive... so, I took her to  a gas station.

And then the fight started...

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I took my wife to a restaurant.  The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,  please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the  mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

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A  woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her  husband,

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's **** near  perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

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My wife asked me if a certain dress made her  butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she  wore yesterday

and then the fight started.....

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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent  babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a  loud noise came from outside.

The woman,  bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man  'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'

So the man  jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the  window.

He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a  thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to  the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your  husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why  were you running?'

And then the fight  started.....

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I asked my wife, "Where do you  want to go for our anniversary? "

It warmed my  heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.  "Somewhere

I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A  Millionaire while we were in

bed.  I turned to her and  said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she  answered.

I then said, "Is that your final  answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time,  simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like  to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight  started....

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When there is no law, you are the law.......