Couples.....

[BULLO12]

A couple was celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor."Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one .... 'Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift." "Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for =you.""It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?" "Yep," said the father. "And cheap ones too."

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Ed and Dorothy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.  When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic.  He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Dorothy todance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums.  Ed became convinced that Dorothy was indeed his soul mate and true love.  Every date seemed better than the last.On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Dorothy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you.  I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage.  So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut.  I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV.  In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf.  If that's going to be a problem, for us, you'd better say so now!"Dorothy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem.  I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for about the last five years I've been a hooker.""I see," Ed replied thoughtfully.  He looked down at the table, and was quiet for a moment,deep in serious thought then he added, "You know, it's probably because

you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.

[SRQ]

you're killing me!!