Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2009

[BULLO12]

Number 10

Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8

Men have two emotions:

Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,

teach a person to use the internet

and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6

Some people are like a Slinky ....

Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile

  ...when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,

lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. 

It pays no attention to Criticism.

Number 3

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00

and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.

Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2009 :

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.  Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration