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Bonds Blames...

Velcro
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Velcro Toro Magnifico

Velcro

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Posted

hemmoroids not steroids, for his crappy performance

Barry Bonds Blames Hemorrhoids Not Steroids For His Runs

By Staff

March, 03

Known as the "King of the Porcelain Throne", in the clubhouse, home run slugger Barry Bonds denied allegations that he ingested steroids to enhance his performance at the plate.

During a press conference to clear the air, Bonds credited healthy eating and a bad case of hemorrhoids for his crappy performance.

 

Bonds blames hemorrhoids, not steroids for his runs.

Doctor Henry Goldman, brought in to examine Bonds agrees.

"After examining Mr. Bonds thoroughly, I can say unequivocally, without any doubt, that Mr. Bonds suffers from the worst case of hemorrhoids I've ever encountered in my career as a Doctor. In my professional opinion, his hemorrhoids would not only account for his runs, the stench from his ass would melt the leather off any baseball".

"I have never encountered a case where steroid use caused runs, in fact the opposite is true, Steroids tend to harden the stool and in extreme cases can cause a person to become bound-up", added Goldman.

MLB is expected to release its decision next week on whether or not it will proceed to take action against Bonds for the bloody mess created by this latest scandal to hit the big leagues. Many insiders say Bonds will likely come out of the "hole mess" smelling like Pete Rose.

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LastKnight Toro Magnifico

LastKnight

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LOL   ;D :o ;D

Should we rename this board to the Bariod board?  ;)

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Velcro Toro Magnifico

Velcro

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or maybe it is the Trivia board, at least today.

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LastKnight Toro Magnifico

LastKnight

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or maybe it is the Trivia board, at least today.

Time out for trivia?

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Velcro Toro Magnifico

Velcro

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i have no problem with trivia...  just hadn't seen it in a while... it is slightly tougher to turn these NBA trivia questions into bonds slams... but i guess i can get creative.

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KnightsRule Toro Magnifico

KnightsRule

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i have no problem with trivia...  just hadn't seen it in a while... it is slightly tougher to turn these NBA trivia questions into bonds slams... but i guess i can get creative.

If it is to much trivia let me know. We have not had any in so long and I found a spot on my bloomberg that has 100's of trivia questions.  Some are very simple and some are on cycling, soccer, formula 1 etc....

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Velcro Toro Magnifico

Velcro

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keep em coming ;D

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