OnTheBus

What I'm trying to figure out is what I'm sure the USF marketing crew in charge of the rollout is trying to figure out: What's the selling point?

Is he a name? No. Does he have accolades or trophies? No. Experience as an HC? No. Local ties, or an established recruiter? No. Looks like Ryan Gosling? No. Innovative playcaller? Eh? Riding the coattails of our "rival" school's previous HC? You gonna sell us on that? He's cheap? Probably, and relatively, but that's not something you'll say.

So I'm just trying to figure out what he brings to the table (even purely speculatory) that made him someone over whoever was 8th on Kelly's list.

Just now, NinjaPenguin777 said:

Dabo Sweeny is the guy running the show there and again Scott didn't call plays. It's not like Scott led the team to a Natty

I'm sorry, are we going to honestly pretend that being the OC on a National Championship winning team, regardless of how much of an OC(or even co-OC) you really were is worth zilch at the negotiating table?

1 minute ago, Gat-Rat Bull said:

According to Google he just got a raise at Tennessee from $750K to $1.2M, so it'd have to be at least that amount, yes?

Sure, but sure shouldn't match Scott's 2.5m/yr, much less anything close to what we would have had to pay Deion or even Chadwell. If the contract is not commensurate with his lack of pedigree compared to our past hires, and also the fact he was very clearly not one of our top candidates, I'm gonna reach new levels of salt with USF Athletics.

8 minutes ago, NinjaPenguin777 said:

Do you really think Scotts resume was better than Golesh?  Scott coached WRs for a few years at Clemson and then became the co-offensive coordinator that didn't call plays.

National. Championship. Starts and ends there, at least as it pertains to contract negotiation.

Whatever money were saving by going with Golesh (objectively the least impressive resume of any of our post Leavitt hires at the time of hire; if we didn't get him on a bargain then holy hell) should be going toward a legit splash DC hire. 

1 minute ago, USFBulls12 said:

Great, a commie

Isn't a board member over there fighting the commies right now?

Oh FFS

1 minute ago, Rex Havoc said:

Grothe works for USF, so he has to watch what he says.

Ah, I didn't realize he was a company man again.

I gotta say, I'd prefer that our former star players hold the program accountable instead of act as fluffers. That doesn't mean that I want people like Grothe to criticize the process in public, but him saying he will love the hire, regardless of who it is, how is that helping? Who is that helping? What is that helping at this point with our program run through the shredder then tossed into the guttter?

Happy 1-week anniversary of announcement of an announcement Monday 8am.

Guys I seriously think I'm onto something with this AI generated press release stuff when I toss it into Photoshop and make it look legit 

Quote

Conway, SC – Today, Jamey Chadwell announced he has accepted the head coaching position at the University of South Florida. Chadwell, who has been the head coach of Coastal Carolina for the past four seasons, made the announcement after the first quarter of the conference championship game, in which his team was down 0-17.

"I'm incredibly proud of the hard work and dedication that our team has put in this season. We have achieved many successes and have made tremendous strides in our conference," Chadwell said. "However, I feel that it's in the best interest of our team that I step down from my role as head coach and allow our coordinators to finish the game. I wish the team the best of luck in the remainder of the championship game." 

The Chanticleers will finish the game with Coach Chadwell's coordinators leading the way.

###

1 minute ago, El_Toro_86 said:

17-0 Troy.  CCU defense is ****

Chadwell valiantly proving he is the right fit to continue the culture that USF has built over the past half decade.

2 minutes ago, USFBULL_08 said:

Gonna be an interesting game to watch. Wonder if the team quits on him.

On that note, Coastal Carolina is currently down 0-17 to Troy.

4 minutes ago, olafberserker said:

Of course there are back up plans.  The folks trying to paint a narrative that MK will be surprised that DS doesn't come here are being ridiculous 

Quote

TAMPA, FL – The University of South Florida's Vice President of Athletics, Michael Kelly, admitted today that he was taken aback by the news of Deion Sanders taking the head coaching job at Colorado.

 In a statement, Kelly said, "We were shocked when we heard the news of Deion Sanders going to Colorado. To be honest, it was a colossal f*ckup on our part. We had no backup plan in place if Deion decided to go elsewhere."

Kelly went on to say that the school is now scrambling to find a candidate who is qualified and willing to take the job. He also said that the process has been further complicated by the fact that several other schools are also looking for coaches.

“We should have had a contingency plan in place in case our first choice didn’t work out. We just assumed that our first choice was going to be the right one, and we were wrong. It’s a **** shame, and we’re going to do our best to make sure this doesn’t happen again” said Kelly.

###

There's simply no justifiable reason to have fired your HC three weeks before Black Monday and be one of the last, if not the last team in all of D1 to secure your next coach. It's inexcusable. I'm looking forward to Kelly getting grilled by the two or three reporters who show up to the next coach intro presser.

23 minutes ago, Brad said:

USF wins two football games in 2023

Quote

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

USF Football Breaks Records with Two Wins in 2023

TAMPA, FL – The University of South Florida Bulls football team is proud to announce that they have achieved two wins in the 2023 season. This marks the first time in school history that the Bulls have secured two wins in the same season.

Led by head coach Bobby Bowden, the Bulls have been working hard in the off-season to build a team that is capable of achieving success. After making several key additions to the roster and making adjustments to the training program, the Bulls have been able to secure two wins this season.

The Bulls have been able to show their resilience and determination in the face of adversity, coming back from two close losses to secure two wins in the 2023 season. With the return of quarterback Quinton Flowers and the emergence of young talent on the roster, the Bulls are confident they can build on this success and have a successful season ahead.

The Bulls look to carry this momentum into the next season and build on this success. With the right mix of talent and coaching, the Bulls are confident they can continue to reach new heights and take the program to the next level.

###

Real alternate universe flavor here. I generated about 20 of these, hoping for one that could seem realistic. There was a lot more absurd stuff. Each result unique though. Went with this one because it's got Q.

EDIT: And as a follow up to Kelly hiring the Sun Dolls, here's one year later:

Quote

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Michael Kelly Dismisses SunDolls Dance Team as USF Football Coach

Tampa, Florida – Michael Kelly has announced his decision to dismiss the SunDolls dance team as the USF football coach after a 0-12 season. Kelly acknowledged that the decision to bring in the SunDolls, a dance team with no prior football coaching experience, was a mistake.

“We made a bold decision to bring in the SunDolls to lead our football program, and unfortunately, we did not see the results we were hoping for,” Kelly said. “I take full responsibility for this decision and I want to apologize to the USF community and our football team for not delivering the success we all expected.”

Kelly has appointed a new football coach, who will be announced at a later date, and is confident that the new coach will be able to lead the team to a successful season. “We are confident that we have found a coach that can help our team reach its goals,” Kelly said.

The SunDolls will no longer be involved with the USF football program, and Kelly thanked them for their dedication and hard work. “The SunDolls have been dedicated and passionate members of the USF team, and we thank them for their efforts,” Kelly said.

Kelly stated that he is looking forward to a successful season with the new coach, and that the USF football team is committed to providing the best experience for its players, staff, and fans.

###

Just now, Brad said:

AI or Mad Libs?

It's AI, it's legit. The prompt I gave was "Write a profane press release where USF VP of Athletics Michael Kelly announces he's making the SunDolls the new football coach, because no one wanted the job" and that one above was maybe the fourth one I had it generate.

If anyone has an absurd USF idea they want to see as a news article or press release, lmk

Quote

TAMPA, FL – In a move that has shocked the college football world, USF Vice President of Athletics Michael Kelly today announced the hiring of the SunDolls as the new head coach for the USF Bulls football program.

The SunDolls, who are best known for their halftime performances at USF football games, have been tapped to take the reins of the Bulls’ struggling program after Kelly was unable to find a qualified coach to accept the job.

“I’m fed up with this bullsh*t,” said Kelly in a press conference announcing the hire. “We’ve tried and tried to get a qualified coach to take this job and nobody wants it. So, we’re going with the SunDolls. They know this program and I’m sure they’ll be able to bring the fire and enthusiasm that we need to get this program back on track.”

The SunDolls, who have a long history of energizing the USF crowd, will now look to do the same on the field as they take over the program.

“We’re ready to take on this challenge and make USF football great again,” said a member of the SunDolls in a statement. “We’ve seen the program struggle in recent years, but we believe in our abilities and know that we can turn this program around.”

The SunDolls will begin their tenure as USF’s head coach immediately, and Kelly is confident that this move will pay off for the Bulls in the long run.

“I’m confident that the SunDolls are the right choice for this job and I’m confident that they will do great things for USF football,” said Kelly. “It’s time to get this program back on track and the SunDolls are the perfect coaches to do just that.”

AI is something else, folks

2 minutes ago, MaltLiquorBull said:

Being a USF fan is like being Charlie Brown while Lucy holds the football for you to kick it.

Quote

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CHARLIE BROWN DENOUNCES COMPARISON

Today, Charlie Brown released a statement condemning the comparison of being a fan of the University of South Florida to his own experience in the classic comic strip, "Peanuts".

"This comparison is wrong and highly offensive to me," said Charlie Brown. "I have experienced too much disappointment and heartache to be associated with any team, let alone one that I have no affiliation with."

Charlie Brown went on to stress that the pressure of being a fan can never be compared to the grief he has faced in his lifetime.

"It is not fair to compare the highs and lows of being a fan to the struggles I have faced in my daily life," he said. "No team deserves to be compared to my experiences."

###

Quote

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

University of South Florida Vice President of Athletics Michael Kelly Admits Mistakes in Football Coach Search

TAMPA, FL – Today University of South Florida Vice President of Athletics Michael Kelly issued an apology to the University of South Florida community for mistakes made in the search for a new head football coach.

“It’s no secret that I completely f**ked up this entire process,” said Kelly. “I take full responsibility for my actions and apologize to the entire USF community for letting them down.”

Kelly added that he has been in contact with several qualified candidates and he is confident that a new head coach will be named very soon. Kelly says he is focused on finding the right fit for USF and that he is determined to get it right this time.

###

Quote

Manny Diaz is officially the new head coach of the USF Bulls, despite being the fifth choice for the job.

"F*ck it, I'm here. Let's get this sh*t show on the road," said Diaz, who was previously the head coach at Temple. Diaz admitted that he'd much rather be somewhere else, but he's ready to make the best of the situation. "I know I wasn't the first choice, and I'm not going to pretend I was. But I'm here now and I'm going to make the most of it," Diaz said.

It's unclear how successful Diaz will be at USF, but his willingness to take on a job that nobody else wanted speaks volumes about his character.

"Let's be real," said Diaz. "I'm the fifth choice, and they could've done better. I'm here because no one else wanted to be."

 

Diaz then ended the press conference with a profane tirade about the USF program and its administration, before storming out of the room. The USF administration responded to Diaz's comments, saying that they believe he will be a great fit for the program and that they are confident he will lead the Bulls to great success.

"Write a profane news article about Deion Sanders choosing to coach Colorado instead of South Florida"

Quote

 

It's been a long and emotional journey, but Deion Sanders finally made his decision: he's taking the head coaching job at the University of Colorado. While South Florida had also offered Sanders a position, the former NFL star ultimately chose the Buffaloes, leaving South Florida fans with a bitter taste in their mouths.

Many USF fans have expressed their disappointment, with some even going as far as to call Deion and his decision "f**king bulls**t". It's no secret that the Bulls had put a lot of effort into trying to lure Sanders to Tampa, and even though the former NFL star expressed his gratitude for the offer, he ultimately chose to take the job in Boulder.

"We worked our asses off to try and get Deion to come here," one unnamed South Florida official told reporters. "And then he goes and chooses Colorado? What the f*** is that all about?!"

"I'm not going to sugarcoat it. South Florida was a joke. They haven't been a competitive program in years and had no plans to make any changes. They were stuck in the past and content with mediocrity. I'm here to make a change and I'm not going to waste my time in a place that isn't willing to make progress," Sanders said. The move to Colorado is a big step up for Sanders.

The Buffaloes have a strong football program and are a perennial contender in the Pac-12. Sanders is confident that he can turn the program around and make them a national powerhouse.

 

I'm gonna be on this AI bender for a while, folks.

5 minutes ago, Bull94 said:

what does jeff scott mindset mean?

 

Jeff Scott's mindset was clear,
He strived to make USF a football pioneer.
But his journey ended in defeat,
With fans feeling the heat.

No longer could they cheer,
For their beloved Bulls and their fear.
Jeff Scott's mindset was unmet,
Leaving USF with regret.