a good laugh at bonds expense

[Velcro]

http://www.msbaseball.com/photogallery/SF/barry_bonds/

[smazza]

i missed the joke

[smazza]

but i will defend you right to try

[Velcro]

read all the captions, some are pro bonds, most are not.

[smazza]

more chins than a chinese phone book

this is what they froze?

[smazza]

i won't get tired of this fellas

[smazza]

therer is a lot of stuff written about crazy teddy and his frozen head

it is funny you guys  are obsessed with heads and yoyr hero doesn't have one

what idiots

ok- lets keep talking about heads

[smazza]

ted's head is in a block of ice!

do you 3 understand that

[smazza]

Ted’s frozen head not such a bad idea

The cloning of sheep, chickens, rats and other tasty creatures has been deemed legal and potentially beneficial to mankind.

Cloning of mankind itself, however, is frowned upon and has been strictly prohibited by the Justice League of America.

Still, should that decision some day be reversed, what a comfort to know that baseball teams will be able to order up another Ted Williams just as easily as another Joe McEwing.

Some day, some day soon, John Henry Williams  son of the legendary Splendid Splinter  will be seen as a compassionate visionary, not merely a heartless, lunatic leech.

Since his decision to have his late father (or his late father’s head) frozen upon death, John Henry Williams has refused all comment to the media.

Fortunately, from postings to Internet message boards by "The Splinter’s Splinter", we’ve been able to piece together the grand plans John Henry Williams (JHW) has for the late, great Ted Williams, for baseball and for life itself.

Apparently, it is only Teddy Ballgame’s head that will be frozen. That will provide plenty of hair follicles for DNA extraction which can then be sold to the highest bidder.

JHW himself will only take enough of the proceeds to cover his expenses, donating the rest to the "JHW Fund," a charity dedicated to ensuring that the children of rich and famous people never have to demean themselves with a day’s worth of labor.

JHW’s dream, of course, is that future science finds a cure for Ted Williams’ deadly ailments: 1) old age, and 2) having his head removed from his body. At that point, Ted could be thawed out and brought back to live a normal, bodiless life.

As technology grows, it’s also possible that at some point the head could be grafted onto a robotic body of untold strength, speed and grace.

The brain running this all-powerful cyborg would know more about hitting a baseball than anyone in the world ... but it would also still be 83 years old; a bit elderly to direct an effective baseball-playing machine.

Still, it could, at the very least, continue the noble work of Ted Williams’ last few years: signing memorabilia to fund his son’s doomed business enterprises. And this one could sign 23½ hours a day!

All proceeds to benefit the JHW Fund.

Until such time, JHW would prefer that his father’s head be utilized in a respectful manner. Perhaps displayed at the Ted Williams museum or  in tandem with the new Ted Williams Award  given to the player named MVP of each year’s All-Star Game.

Absolutely nothing tacky, like removing Ted’s teeth and making them into jewelry, will be done with the frozen skull. Unless, of course, there’s a LOT of money involved. Dozens and dozens of dollars.

Cloning is eventually inevitable, and baseball is fortunate for the forward-thinking of JHW.

Current and future generations of fans who never saw "the world’s greatest hitter" bat will now get that chance.

In fact, every team in every city could have one or more Ted Williamses, if they have enough money to afford him/them.

Hopefully, though, by the time cloning comes of age in the mid 21st century, baseball will have devised a fair and equitable method of sharing revenue.

Otherwise, the Yankees  assuming grave-digging relatives are able to uncover enough traces of DNA  will be able to field a team with Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Bill Dickey and Whitey Ford.

They’ll toss in a Ted Williams or two and a Smokey Joe Wood just to annoy Red Sox fans.

Meanwhile, the Kansas City Royals will be stuck with Steve Balboni clones grown in a bathtub by a frat house at the University of Nebraska.

Thanks to the work of pioneers like JHW, baseball scientists may one day be able to mix and match DNA to actually improve on baseball’s greatest players.

Ted Williams with the speed of Rickey Henderson. Mickey Mantle with pain-free knees and a genetic aversion to alcohol. Ty Cobb with Tony Gwynn’s sunny disposition.

Baseball performances that fans could once only dream of might now be possible.

Thank you JHW. Thank you.

Oh. As for the rest of Ted Williams’ body ... well, if JHW’s half-sister wants it cremated, she can go right ahead.

Just as long as she puts in the high bid on eBay

[smazza]

boy, what heritage

what history