BULLO12 Posted December 17, 2008 Group: Member Topic Count: 0 Content Count: 6,502 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/27/2003 Share Posted December 17, 2008 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffettable knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you seecarrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rumballs. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.Youcannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Whocares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as ifyou're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's atreat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than youthink. It's Christmas! 3. if something comes with gravy, use it.That's the whole point ofgravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out ofyour mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milkor whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying asports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort tocontrol your eating.The whole point of going to a Christmas party isto eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and NewYear's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else todo.This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circlingthe buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and thatvat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, likefrosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, positionyourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can beforebecoming the center of attention.They' re like a beautiful pair ofshoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see themagain. 8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.Always have three. When else do you get to have more than onedessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with themandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean,have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave theparty or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.Re-rea d tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around thecorner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave wi th the intention ofarriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but ratherto skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up,totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" Have a great holiday season Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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