I think I finally figured it out.
The Big 12 is filled with little brother teams with Napoleonic fanbases.
Iowa State is butthurt that they can't play on the same level as their B1G brother Iowa.
Kansas and Kansas State quietly wish to be in the ACC, to get away from these Texas weirdos, but can't reconcile the fact they are not "Atlantic" enough.
BYU wishes they could've stayed independent, so no one finds out about their magic underwear.
Oklahoma forgot to pick up their little brother OkState from school.
WVU and Cinci miss close away games (and winning games)
Houston, Baylor, Texas Tech, and TCU all play second fiddle in the state of Texas to UT and TAMU.
UCF... do I need to state the obvious?
Wait, i'm starting to think we are a perfect fit for the Big 12...
(please no though. acc preferred oviously)